In 2007, my friend invited me to join Facebook. He posted some pictures of his adorable family and asked me to write on his "wall." I followed the link and did my best to fill out a rudimentary profile. Up until today, I had never updated that ancient profile. Today, I sorted through 14 invitations to be a "friend." Kind of pathetic that I only had 14 people offer to be my friend in over a year, but that's another story. (Maybe people don't realize how fun I really am. Ha.) Now, I have an odd assortment of friends, some of whom are acquaintances and others who are near and dear. Not sure it's very representative of my inner circle....My husband Trevor doesn't even know what Facebook is, and he is my best friend.

I feel stressed by the hundreds of others I should be extending and accepting invitations to and from to be friends. What if they see me on there and think that I'm not their friend? I spent more than half my day doing all of this. I had to complete my basic information including personal information (oh, dear, what shall I share?), contact information (what about all the weirdos out there in cyberspace?) and my education and work information (what for? So my alumni association can track me down and ask me for money? So that people can send me resumes?) Wow, this is taking a lot of commitment.

I felt sort-of stupid for being SO behind-the-times and slow to "catch on" to this not-so-new, apparently essential form of community. Yet, conversely, there seemed to be something kind of ego-centric about the whole thing, as well. Some people post several times a day, I learned, and a lot of it is just random musings that they think others want to hear....their up-to-the-moment state-of-being. I can think of a lot of other things I can and should be doing with my time. As my dad would say, I think I have "bigger fish to fry."

I also belong to Linked In. True confessions, though: my web designer updates my invites and groups. I simply don't have time to explore this virtual world. I'm busy living in the physical world of being a mom of two boys, a wife, and a small business owner.

An old sorority sister friend just invited me to join her in Linked In, and her invite is sitting in my Inbox and it's making me feel guilty because I really do want to re-connect with her. Another good friend asked me to make him a referral on Linked In, which I am happy to do after I get my Inbox below 100. He's a very good corporate attorney. If you want his name just call me. :-)

My question is: what about my database? That's what I use when I want to ask someone smarter than me a question or get connected to a person or an opportunity. Am I boorish and old-fashioned to just pick up the phone and call them or should I be poking, inviting, and writing grafitti on their "walls"? And do we simply phone those in our database, or network, or sphere of influence, or friends, or contact list, or whatever you want to call it, and just catch up anymore?

While we're on the subject, does anyone walk across the street anymore and talk to their neighbors? Here we are, citizens of the world, with hundreds of friends on Facebook, but do we even know our next-door neighbors? How do we have time to hang out in the cul-de-sac if we are glued to the screen?

It's really no wonder that our time management is out-of-control these days, we're getting carpal tunnel and eye strain from being on the computer with our virtual network.

It's kind of overwhelming to think of dedicating a part of each day -which is already full - to posting pictures, issuing invitations, and searching for friends. If so, I better create a time management seminar especially dedicated to scheduling these activities and I should be the first to take my own seminar!

I have a little theory here: my "friends" will be the ones who show up on Moving Day, which is in two and a half weeks and counting. Our family is moving to our dream house, and I plan to feed, thank, and spend time with those friends. Hopefully they won't hold it against me that they didn't get a formal e-vite.

I may be socially under-networked and woefully e-literate, but I'm thankful that I'm blessed with friends in the world I in live in day-to-day. Perhaps there's still hope for me in the virtual world, too.

~Vicki Norris